Bola and i 

When we moved to Festac town in 1996, i met a very cool chick in whom i was well pleased, her name is Bola Disu. Bola was my bestest friend, Bola is a Jehovah's witness, Bola is a very pretty girl with mighty eyes and kinky hair, her hair always looks like the letter W when ever she has no money to fix it properly. She is brilliant and she comes up with all the bright ideas, she is extremely generous and she totally makes me happy. She never criticized me and my stupidity, to her, i was cool and people used to say we look alike but we really don't, because she looks like Pocahontas and i do believe that i look more like princess Jasmine. If we do look alike i am the finer version sha. Bola's mum was the sole distributor of "properly made bread" in Festac, the so called properly made bread is usually filled with bromate and from what i hear bromate can kill. Half of the time the bakeries make breads that can last for a life time, force it down the throats of the re-sellers and the re-sellers would refuse to sell fresh bread to us; with the flimsy excuse that they have not finished selling the bread that was supplied last week. Bola's mother led the ban of Agege bread in Festac because with the presence of Agege bread their killer breads would never sell in Festac town.  Agege bread is the bread that is locally and freshly made everyday, they are made in dead looking unhygienic bakeries, with dirty disgusting bread pans that are never washed, an Agege bread may roll onto the sandy or muddy floor and all the makers and sellers will do is dust the bread with an ororo(groundnut oil) coated cut out foam from somebody's mattress.  They are sold by extremely ugly, grouchy Yoruba women with terrible BO, it has no bromate, no additives and no disgusting flavors its fresh, pure white sweet bread. It is usually juicy succulent and scintillating!! Aaah Agege bread!! yall should totally try eating it with hot Akara, JESU CHRISTI OKO IJO!! you can faint oh, Agege bread is da bomb. Call me disgusting all you want, disgusting is sooo in, its like going to a tush place to buy Amala!! it can never be sweet.  Anyhoo Bola's mum helped to subject us in Festac to eating disgusting flavored stale breads that have boldly written on the wrapper BROMATE FREE!! Don't believe every thing you read.

The Chevron Story

I work in an ICT company as a Business Developer, more like a glorified business beggar, a dirt scratching marketer. My boss has been trying to do business with Chevron even before i was employed and when i was being interviewed i was specifically asked if i could confidently walk into an organisation like Shell or Chevron and market our products to them, and i said why not? with a lot of confidence and conviction in my voice and face, and of  cause with the help of my beautiful friend spunky, I guess that was why i was employed, because if you take one look at my CV you can't help but burst into a torrent of laughter!!

The Slap

      
It was one of those mornings that i woke up to the smell of beans!!! i hate beans with all my heart and soul, but beans is my mothers favorite meal. My mother is an extremely beautiful woman, she is not exactly tall, light skinned, extremely shapy, she loves expensive things and she tries her best to get all the luxurious items one can think of but she is very short tempered. You can  never catch my mother unawares, she wakes up very early in the morning cooks her beans, have her bath, wears a full make up complete with beautiful clothes and her exotic jewelries. Then she will wake my brother and i up for prayers, she makes sure my brother and i at least brush our teeth even if we don't want to have our baths, all this activity happens around 5am oh, can you imagine my frustration? She will nag at my laziness and call me a dirty girl. My mother has the highest moral standards in the world that no human being can meet and she is extremely forceful. She has too many do's and don'ts it gets on my nerves but she is my best friend even if we fight all the time.

Mtown

Mtown is the short form of Mushin, a sub-hub in Lagos state, my friends and i gave it that name to Funkilize it and make it less razz. In Mtown we lived in a dusty old four story building with 66 long steps that will take you to our prestigious pent-house that is filled with all the cripping and crawlings that you can't imagine. Myself and four other girls shared a mighty room, don't get it twisted, its a five bedroom pent-house, with plenty of space but because of our laziness we cleaned out only one room and we started staying there.