How i met my bestie

It was the year 1993 i had just finished from primary school, and was getting ready to go to my dream high school..........hey!!! will u stop trying to calculate my age!!! If you like sef you can try to calculate, all i know is that i am going to be 21years old on 21st of May 2013. Anyhoo i was particularly excited because my cousin Amina Tijani Sanni was in Queens College, By the way she is now very married with plenty beautiful children(wiping my brow) and she is now a pastor/counselor in South Africa...... She had plans in motion to make my stay in QC heavenly. We were both very certain i was going to attend QC infact she had introduced me to the whole school and had made arrangements for a school mother for me because she was already in SS2 and was leaving school soon. Only for my mother to come back from were ever she went to with a big smile on her face, i was very suspicious!! one can never trust my mum and her forceful ways......she said to me Iyagba, we are going to your new high school on monday, i was very happy thinking it was QC, but i had my doubts. I knew my mum did not want me to attend any boarding school because she used to ring it into my ears, growing up, she would say; I only have two children and i want to see them everyday. She said to me, Dudu, guess what?? i looked at her excitedly and screamed WHAT?? with glee in my voice. Then she said, you are going to METHODIST GIRLS' HIGH SCHOOL YABA!!! I threw myself on the floor and wailed like a dying seal!!! She did not even look at me!! I screamed, kicked and threatened to run away, but my mum did not even act like anything was happening. Little did i know that there was more, she then dropped the BOMB!!! she said my black baby, we are going to the salon now oh, i eyed the back of her head alata style. I got dressed and followed her to the salon which turned out to be BE FINE barbing salon in surulere!!! I looked at my mum, looked at the name of the salon and thought to myself, may be there was a hidden iya oni diri(some one that makes corn rolls) inside the salon because my hair was very long and full growing up, in fact i had never cut my hair before, and i knew my mum loved my hair so much so i kinda had hope, it just couldn't be what i was thinking...... I was asked to sit down on the barbers chair, and they started covering my body with that chooku chooku wrapper-like thing they use in barbing salons!!! I looked at the barber and my mum with pleading eyes, the barber told me not to worry that i would love it!!! I just started wailing and kicking at the same time when i saw the clipper, i screamed at the guy not to touch my hair and pushed him away!! That was the point my mother came close to me and gave me a resounding ABARA(Slap) on my back!! and screamed at me to Gbemi(swallow it). I decided to cry inside my soul!!!!

On Monday my mother and i went to MG my new high school, i had already given up, i had accepted my fate when i found out that my paternal grandma attended MG, she was the head girl of her time and later became the principal. My aunts too went to that f**king school and my father attended METHODIST BOYS'.....and MG was my mother's dream school growing up...LOBATAN OH!!! There was no contesting, SHIT!! Anyhoo i was registered and my school uniform was going to be ready the next week *sigh* i walked meekly to my new class, i was in JSS 1b and by 2:30 there was always after school lesson *sigh* The first girl i met in MG was Omowunmi Osijo who likes to act like mummy....the whole school was rowdy we were 198 girls in one mighty class and there were 10 classes for jss1 students that's from A-J!! Plenty Yoruba speaking girls too OMG. There was a skinny long girl in my class with a very funny surname who later became my very good friend and protector in MG Folake Lemomu whom we all addressed as Lemomu or Flakkylamor shit we were razz sha!! Hehehehe.

On this particular day we were having after school lessons and the maths teacher Mr Oriade was teaching, gosh i hated that man, i still do sha!! anyhoo i was seated beside this butter looking girl with very curly, fluffy, soft hair and she had very mighty eyes and her lips were sooooo pink i wanted it for my self. I eyed her suspiciously, i asked if i could touch her hair and she rolled her mighty eyes and whispered yes. I looked into her book her hand writing was as mighty as her eyes, it was amazing!! Then i hit my jack pot when i discovered she was very brilliant!!!!!!! she knew the answers to all the questions OMG sweet Jesus you are great!!! I looked her straight in the eyes and the first word i spoke to her was, please, quickly tell me the answer to that question!!! i did not even ask for her name......Then i made a new discovery, she was not one of those disgusting book covering a**holes!!! She told me the answer to the question and i quickly raised up my hand to answer the question with a proud grin....na sure answer the girl give me sha.....i fell in love with her at that point....and that was the beginning of our forever..

I got home on this particular day, sick and tired of my Cortina bata shoes and lamented to my mum that i wanted rubber sandals. She told me rubber sandals was for poverty stricken families, but i insisted with loud sulking noise, then she told me to get out of her sight and cursed at my father and his family members under her breath, i looked at her very surprised and i pointed it out to her that they could not hear her, then she threw her hand bag at me and broke her compact powder in the process, i did a little dance infront of her and stuck out my tongue at her!! I was in shock tho, what did my father do to this woman?.....The Yewinsh in me came out at that point with a beautiful plan. I hated these Cortina Bata leather school shoes i thought it was not just for MG maybe QC sha not MG because everybody else wore rubber sandals in MG. When i got to school the next day, i went to the A class to look for my new friend, i still didn't know her name and nobody seemed to know her  name except her class mates who all hated me because i used to go to their class and disturb them!! When i got to her class, i screamed at the top of my voice, where is my friend?? everybody eyed me and somebody even threw a stick at me.... I strolled aimlessly to the tap to carry out my destructive plan, i had plans of destroying my Cortina shoes with water. As i strolled to the tap, i saw my friend's mighty eyes shinning like an angel's, in the scorching sun, i noticed she had her feet in the running water and her shoes were the replica of mine...HALELU!!! Kindred spirit tinz going on here!! I rushed to her side and asked her what she was doing, she said to me, i hate my shoes, they are sooo ugly and nobody has them on in this school, at that point she gazed at my feet and said, well....except you and i tho, her diction was beautiful, it then occurred to me that i never allowed the girl speak, i had been doing all the talking!! I joined her in the destructive plight....then i proceeded to probe her about herself and her family she told me she lost her mother that year and that her father was a lawyer and her two sisters were in Federal Girls College Shagam.....I also discovered that she had a wonderful sense of humor. Then at the last minute i asked what her name was and she looked at me and said, are you for real?? and started laughing, her laughter made me laugh because it sounded so rich, she opened her eyes in surprise at the sound of my own laughter and I said to her yeh, i know i laugh like a witch!!! We laughed uncontrollably and peed ourselves in the process!!! We succeeded in spoiling our shoes with our toes peeping through the front of our shoes!! When my mum came to pick me and she saw my shoes she screamed at me and pulled me by the ear into the car and we branched off at her friends shop in Yaba market and she bought me the ugliest Cortina leather shoes on earth LENARDS!!! not even Bata shit!!! i could not even cry.

The next week i had another plan, i told my mum i would love to go to school by myself and my aunt told her to allow me na.....that i was now a big girl. My other cousin Nneka and i joined my childhood friends Yewande Princewill and Eniola Ayeni and we took the bus to school that day and for ever...... Knowing my mother, who is naturally an alasheju, she just could not stand my suffering she was very concerned about me and the bus rides, she is a very generous mummy, she gave me 50 naira to school as my launch money when all i needed was 10 naira....i was very rich!! When i got to school my friend had her shinny basket like rubber shoes on, we called it Look, i wonder till this day why its called that name.....i was so envious of those shoes, she looked at my feet and started laughing at my ugly ass Lenards shoes!! We both laughed and i told her i had money to buy my own shoes. She looked at me in awe and told me my mother was going to find out. After school, Eniola and i went to Yaba and i bought myself the basket like Look and the one that was called Shaba rubber shoes, i could afford it because it only cost 50kobo and i had 50naira. My mum did not know about those shoes till it was the end of term when she looked into my bag, she almost had heart attack, she swore never to buy me school shoes again and she did not......well till i was in SSS1 sha.

When i bought my rubber sandals and showed it to my friend, she was elated on my behalf we hugged each other and jumped like babies!! By that time i already knew her name was ADEBO thanks to my Math teacher who never ceased to call her name during math class. Her full name is YETUNDE ADEBO oloju rangandan onirun curls!!! hehehehe!!! I Love you so much bebe (NO HOMO)............................................PS the Selzin girl shining plenty teeth, showing off her black gum is me and the oloju Rangandan with the beautiful smile is Yetunde aka Yetiele.............