Halloween

let me tell you a story that happened to me in 2011 that almost repeated it's self again this year but I swerve that shit like a pesky lil fly .... Mo ti gban gidi gan ni..... if you Kent read Yoruba shame on you simply means I'm wiser now  ...... so here it goes..... That year I was living in Mtown with 5 of my friends who are all married now, so proud of you babies, anyhoo..... 2mo my bestie's elder sister was invited to one Halloween party in british council when she told Yetunde and I cos we were the only ones at home and she could also only invite 2 more people..... we were elated and felt privileged cos na we comot pass for this life but na we dey feel boredom pass for this life..... that period Yetunde had a job and I didn't hence my broke manage state.... we had to buy Halloween costumes and we had just a week to purchase it..... I had no money..... Yetunde's salary wasn't fantastic but I shan't gree wan kee us..... Yetunde called me from work to meet her at silverbird fortunately my home gee Tunsco and I were seeing a movie..... I went to meet Yetunde and one girl that was selling costumes..... the girl said 1 was 18k I looked at Yetunde and I told her in Yoruba.... Sikira jo nitori olohun mi o ni shigbain...(I have not even a coin).. now you see Yetunde is very spontaneous she's scares me sometimes.... she eyed me and said pick the one you want jo.... I looked at her like, the kain hunger wey go kill us with this money wey we wan spend nor go get part 2..... anyhoo I picked the 1933 wench outfit and Yetunde chose the sexy football referee...... we tried it on and life looked beautiful already......less go dia party ti shele, dem don die for that party..... my out fit was complete with a peacock feather head band..... Yetunde even had a whistle to go with hers.... when we got home 2mo had become all of a sudden creative with pins, needle and tread.... when Yetunde and I saw her we laughed.
We saw 2mo tacking stuff together.... I'm going as Mrs clause, she announced..... then she proceeded to tell us how she had gone to yaba market that morning to purchase yards of a fluffy white fibre to make her boots look like santa's..... she told us how she toiled to attach it to the boots.... by this time Yetunde and I were rolling and gasping for air on the floor. I rushed off to pee before I wet myself! At the end of the toil her outfit was finer than ours and she spent less.... she wore a beautiful red dress and she looked absolutely gorge. ..... the day of the party finally arrived..... we were ready to porry. I was saying a lot of bullshit due to excitement until 2mo told me to shut up. ..... we left in my car Ireti. now you see.... I'm your typical Nigerian girl that doesn't fix her car until it falls apart.... we got to the porry, there was a guest list....our names were written there. I in particular felt important at that moment.... when we got into the porry, plent Oyinbo people were there life was looking beautiful..... it seemed like fun was on the way until Tonye, 2mo's friend that invited us asked if we would like to have something to drink..... we nodded our heads in agreement like lizards.... then came the bomb shell.... she said..... you can get drinks at the bar, let me get the menu.... then she brought the menu and the drinks had price tags.. WATH???..... Yetunde and I looked at each other and started laughing... Yetunde and I ordered  Smirnoff ice.... seemed like the cheapest drink there and it was like 1500 each..... thank God say we hold vex money.... we nursed our little bottle, we thought we would have to sip from that bottle all through the night...... all of a sudden the boring techno music faded and stopped abruptly.....i rolled my eyes and said finally may be they will play better song now and the real part will begin..... then the Oyinbo's started singing after a minute or 2 they started saying goodbye to everybody.
And every one started leaving.... I looked at Yetunde..... she looked right back at me....then we looked at 2mo....she  looked very surprised and asked.... Aah!!! Is the party over? all three of us burst into a torrent of laughter.... this was 11:30 and we got to the party 10pm..... by the time we laughed into the car it was 12am..... we drove into the night laughing like jackals..... by the time we got to eko bridge, as we were climbing, Ireti slowed down and came to a grinding halt just as we climbed the bridge.... 2mo asked what was going on with a very little voice..... I was sweating .....bewildered, I flung my feathered head band into the night.....i threw all caution to the wind and started flagging down passing vehicles..... one guy screamed as he sped by..... ASHAWO see wetin you wear, them go rape una this night!!! Mogbe!!! From the corner of my eyes I saw two niggars approaching me and my car....they seemed like they crawled out of the ground!!!! Cheeeeessssoooxxx Aye oh!!! I started confessing all my sins!!! I told Jesus how much I loved him.... I looked into the car, 2mo had been crying and looked like melted butter. Yetunde was stone cold in the front sit.... by this time I had died, gone to heaven and was sent back by angels to face my death boldly I needed to shit, as in very hot shit.... they got closer ........ to be continued!